now i call your soul
in the home of all spirit
and hear your echo

it will be enough
until i am finished here
and i come home, too

Two people find themselves attracted to one another.  They flirt.  They keep flirting, in greater and greater detail, until one of them no longer finds the other attractive.  Then they break up.  If this does not happen, they get married and live ever after.  After that there are many complicated things but they are not part of courtship.  But maybe they should be.  It seems like perpetual courtship might be a good way to keep those pleasant feelings a-flutter.

Consider the dish named with one of the greatest portmanteaus of all time: the turducken. 

If you’ve never heard of turducken and you are a meat lover, prepare to rejoice. A turducken is a de-bonedchicken (or hen) stuffed into a de-boned duck, which is then stuffed into a de-boned turkey.

Are three meats still sounding pedestrian? Well, try this on for size. 

A gastronomist in the early 19^th century wrote about his rôti sans pareil. This “roast without equal” is a bustard, stuffed with a turkey, a goose, a pheasant, a chicken, a duck, a guinea fowl, a teal, a woodcock, a partridge, a plover, a lapwing, a quail, a thrush, a lark, an ortolan bunting, and a garden warbler.

Since some of the ingredients are now considered endangered, you can’t exactly whip up this meat bonanza in your kitchen. (No need to disinvite the vegetarians yet.) But you get the point. The imagination is the limit to the number of meats that you could stuff into a ballotine.

If you’ve got a little extra cash to spend, you could also go for the gooducken, which is a goose stuffed with a duck stuffed with a chicken. 

Have any questions regarding Thanksgiving comestibles? Let us know. And what will be your main protein on the table Thursday night?

Source:  The Hot Word blog at dictionary.com

http://adventure.howstuffworks.com/abandoned-city5.htm

O COMPANION OF MY THRONE! Hear no evil, and see no evil, abase not thyself, neither sigh and weep. Speak no evil, that thou mayest not hear it spoken unto thee, and magnify not the faults of others that thine own faults may not appear great; and wish not the abasement of anyone, that thine own abasement be not exposed. Live then the days of thy life, that are less than a fleeting moment, with thy mind stainless, thy heart unsullied, thy thoughts pure, and thy nature sanctified, so that, free and content, thou mayest put away this mortal frame, and repair unto the mystic paradise and abide in the eternal kingdom for evermore.

Bahá’u’lláh, The Hidden Words, Persian #44

Isn’t that the truth?  Being critical of others is such a frequently relied upon way to create easy social bonds – i don’t like her shoes, you don’t like her shoes, we have something in common.  But it’s lazy.  Certainly we have other things to say to each other.  Not liking something that no one likes doesn’t realy count as something in common.  No one needs their flaws pointed out for them.  They know they have them.  And if they haven’t noticed, its probably because they’re preoccupied with others of their flaws.  This is what i remembered this week.  That we’re all trying.  That we are all overwhelmed by our shortcomings and that being reminded of them, especially by those who are closest to us, is really just hurtful.  And, more, that highlighting someone else’s weakness is grievous failure to acknowledge their humanity, their essential nobility.  i’m not doing any better than anyone else at this life. Who could i possibly think i am to judge their progress?

This is not to say i will never again go on a melodramatic rant about the absurdity of some behavior or another.  But i hope i can be mindful of the impact that the voicing of  my overinflated opinion might have.  i’m sure i have hurt others the way i hurt this week and i hate to think of it.  Hearts need support, not chastisement.  i remember being good at giving that support.  That was what came naturally. i’m not willing to give that up to establish quick and fleeting comfort in awkward social situations.  It’s not who i want to be and there’s no reason that my environment, however critical it might be, should dictate that for me.  i’m a grown ass woman, not a Mean Girl.

You guys, I think I am beginning to understand something.  I think I have two self-images – a perceived self image and a real self image.  My perceived self is the me that I imagine in this or that situation with this or that job or this or that relationship.  But then, when I am in reality, I can never imagine my real self, the one I am experiencing, in any of those situations.  Consequently, when it comes to real relationships, I don’t actually expect anyone worth my while to be attracted to me or to be able to get a job that I actually want, because I am not my ideal self – the one from my imagination.  No wonder I like to sleep so much.  I am always my ideal self in my dreams.

Then my one friend wrote back this:

I can absolutely relate, I think (though there’s a possibility this isn’t what you mean at all).  I realize that a ton of the time, the me in my head is like a me actress.  She is just a little bit taller, she has my mom’s teeth, her hair is the last haircut I had, instead of this haircut, and she has many personally traits I associate (probably wrongly) with 7 year old me not 24 year old me.  And many I associate with completely fabricated me, rather than actual me.  And many that are the attributes of illustrations and teenage mutant ninja turtles and war correspondents.

It makes it nearly impossible to choose a career, among other things, because actress me apparently enjoys everything, but very aloofly.  And also, she never wears the dress I am wearing today.

On the other hand, I feel like when I imagine actress me, it’s always from pretty far away.  So I give myself the benefit of the doubt that we’re the same person, I just look different from a wide-angle establishing shot.

Also, I think you are the ideal Abi.

Well, that was it, exactly, wasn’t it? But then another friend added:

And have you ever considered the possibility that ‘ideal’ you cant even hold a flame to real you? that maybe the things that make you especially special; that make you wonderfully joyful and sweet are aspects that even in your wide lens view you never capture?

And a third:

I paraphrase the Master, who directly quoted the Imam Ali:

You think yourself this puny thing when you have the whole of creation inside of you?

God has made each of us to fulfill a unique purpose in life – and He has created us perfectly, purposefully, to achieve this purpose.  Accept your design features and get out of your head. (I mean me, ps.)

And then my first friend again:

Well said kittens.  Well.  Said.

To clarify, I’m not bewailing the lack of actress me.  I’m just noting that she helps to cloud my judgment.  Does actress me or real me want to go to law school?  Who knows!  Actress me loves Law and Order.  Also, many days she wears things I own.  Just not today.  This particular dress looks like crayons from Florida ate a hurricane in the 1950s.  In a good way, but unprofessionally.

And I don’t consider the ninja turtles puny at all.

Oh, and what else? Yeah, yet another friend:

…at least for myself, I know there are times when I keep myself from exploring different realities b/c I can’t accept them as possible even though I want them. So then I had to learn to accept that good things are possible and lovely and within reach.

i mean, way to hear, understand, consider, and respond in a positive but not dismissive manner.  i have awesome taste in friends. They’re (you’re) all so smart and also funny.  You other friends, feel to keep up the trend.

i have recently created a weekly timetable for myself, mostly to keep me from watching too much TV.  It includes things like studying, cleaning, exercising, and keeping in touch.  At first i thought it was odd and kind of sad that i would have to make for myself a weekly requirement of time spent keeping in touch.  But it’s just because almost all of my in touch requires getting on the internet and i feel so aimless when i do that that i have to make a conscious effort about it.  Meanwhile, my friend Aimee sends me this article about how teenagers these days (most of whom i am now literally twice as old as) communicate with most of their friends more through internet and text messaging than they do through actual speech.  How do you even do that???  What can you type in 200 characters that could possibly be substantial enough to build a relationship on?  i’m not saying it’s not possible.  i just, like hanging out on the internet, don’t understand how it’s done.

Perhaps it is my turn to get old.  Looking in the mirror these days, i notice that my cheeks are beginning to fall.  And looking in the other mirror i notice that several others of my parts are following suit.  i’m no spring chicken, as my mother has been so kind to remind me.  Maybe my response time to new ways of doing this and that is starting to sag, too.  Oddly, i’m a bit more comfortable with that than with the increasing roundness of my face (i’m n0t saying i would ever do it, but i am beginning to understand the allure of ‘lifts’) or the lack of definition in my…everything.  Perhaps if i already had a family i wouldn’t be so fussed about it.  If someone had already committed to being attracted to me and the largest requirement of that attraction had been fulfilled.  But i still have to attract a mate and he’s going to have to want to make babies with me.  i somehow don’t think it’s my internet saviness that’s going to close that deal.  But, then, maybe it would be.  Times, after all, they are a changin’,

So i got to thinking about my favorite shows.  It seems that I am most drawn to shows where the characters are, above all, noble.  But they also should be other interesting things.  I like to watch characters exercise their nobility – practice it in various situations and under various pressures.  For example, I’ve been watching Bones and Firefly.   These are two of my very favorite shows.  One of these shows is about a collection of geniuses who solve crimes.  The other is about a gang of space cowboys (and -girls) who commit crimes.  Both of these shows have characters who are inclined in any number of directions (apathy, selfishness, calculated indifference, general misbehavior, violence), but in the end, allow their nobility to dictate their actions.  I think I find this comforting and affirming.  It’s almost like it reminds me about how to do the same thing in my own life.  To be noble and do the right thing even when I don’t feel like it.  To see these characters portrayed successfully and to know that I like them and approve of them as people makes me feel confident integrating this character trait into my own way of being.  It gives me a way of being good without feeling like a prisoner of moral dictates.

This is not to say that I have given up on becoming a person who actually is generally inclined towards positive moral action (personal will aligned with the will of God) or that I do not at least hope to become strong enough of character and firm enough in my reliance on God that I do not need to assure myself that I am likable.  But many of the actions there are to take to become that person require me to do things I don’t feel like doing all the time (which I’ve never been that good at).  Like praying.  Fasting.  Working hard.  Being nice.  I think it helps me to have a romantic image of self-sacrifice (even on a superficial scale) to sooth my ego.  Hopefully this method won’t cause my ego to gain too strong a hold on my consciousness.  I don’t know if the ego is the kind of thing you have to deny or quiet.  I don’t think there’s really any way for me to know since I don’t understand, and am confident that no one understands, human consciousness and spiritual influence well enough to make a determination about it, so I’m just trusting that God will guide me aright if my intentions are noble.  Which they can be now.  Thank God.  He seems to have left us such a wide margin of error.

-Alice in Disney’s Alice in Wonderland

I am starting to think that I may be a touch bewildered about myself.  I would appear to understand many things, but my behaviors indicate that I am no wiser at 30 than I was when I started this whole project – perhaps even less so.  I now seem unable even to identify my behaviors as falling within or without the recommended scope of health and responsibility.  I’m like a little kid tripping over herself without really being aware of what she’s tripping on, but having a relatively jolly time of it.  While this method may not be condemnable, I am fairly certain that it is unlikely to yield the woman of “composure, calmness, dignity and self-possession” that ‘Abdu’l-Bahá recommends I ought to be[i].  Neither do I feel it lends itself to an adequate realization of the potential God was so gracious to bestow upon me.  I have this anxiety that says, left undeveloped, that potential will evaporate and I will be left an essentially useless burden on the rest of society.  Still, the path feels unclear.  I feel like a person only in theory – that in practice I’m more a jumble of ill-conceived reactions. 

I think my next steps are thus: I have to pay more attention.  I have to be mindful of the presence of God.  I have to remember what I’m doing here.  And I have to request and then trust that God will usher me on my way. 

“Your way?” I hear in play my head.  “Always here are MY ways!”  Only it has a much different ring when the Queen of Hearts is the All-Knowing and All-Wise Creator of the universe.