i inadvertently quit smoking yesterday. Meaning: i ran out of money and cigarettes at the same time. This as i come off of a heart-wrenchingly intense weekend. i am surrounded, as i understand it, by people who love me love me love me and i am absorbed in the difficulty i have in hearing and believing that. What kind of twisted up little girl won’t let love in when it’s the absolute only thing she wants? This has been the question off and on my mind for the past great period of time. What is so scary about being loved? Also, why do i keep buying cigarettes by the pack when i know i’m never going to quit?
31 August 2004...7:16 pm
smoke, please?
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3 Comments
2 September 2004 at 9:59 pm
I hear that Abi – I’m on a major budget currently and I sat in my car outside the Hess station today for a few minutes deliberating that same point. I had just jaunted in to the store to get todays edition of the NY Post and a new pack of cigarettes and I thought of all the potential money that could be saved vs the potential to quit at the end of each pack and not feel wasteful. Yet before the purchase, no such thoughts were had outside of oh heyyy better get more before the weekend, youre down to your last five in this pack..
ps- welcome to the blog world! I started out with an lj about three years ago before Lay-C graced me with a page off her site just before I left Chi-town.
The internet is surely a better place for your sincere and hearty postings.
8 January 2008 at 4:45 am
Well, there’s something for you. i done quit smoking. One month this Friday. There’s another something.
8 January 2008 at 1:09 pm
hurrah for not smoking! this winter i have been missing it like the blazes, but overall i’m SO HAPPY TO HAVE KICKED THE CANCER STICKS. 18 months and counting!
love from leila